I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize