Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Floor bacon is actually really good
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
