yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
