Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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