I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He has the fingertips of a God
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