so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
