I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize