i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
