so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
