Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
