Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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