I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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