so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
