Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
