She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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