My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's blow job season.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
