I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
