So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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