Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
