totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
