You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
