Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
