Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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