I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
