Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
