OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
