He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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