i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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