So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
