One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
