I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
