Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Farmville is her only friend.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
