im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
