Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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