I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
