i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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