Soap is not a condiment
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
high people should be assigned attendants
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
