i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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