She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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