I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
