yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
