Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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