Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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