so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
