Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
