Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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