Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize