I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
