She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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