Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize