she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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