big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
