How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
