I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
