He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
