I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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