so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
