Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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