are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so let's talk penis.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
