$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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