hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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