NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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